Telling God the Ugly Stuff

Cry out to God with the good, the bad and the ugly.

My current Bible reading plan includes daily reading in the Old Testament, New Testament and usually either a Psalm or Proverb.  Right now I am reading about the life of King David and it is very interesting (and encouraging) to read about the HORRIBLE things going on in David’s life and in Judah and Israel, juxtaposed with songs David wrote while experiencing these heartbreaking and terrifying experiences.

For example, today I read in 2 Samuel 3-4 about war and murder and gruesome executions.  About husbands and wives being torn apart.  About disloyalty and political strife.  About a nation divided by leadership loyalties.

And then I turned to Psalm 59 and read David’s song. The song was written earlier – when King Saul was still alive and had sent soldiers to watch David’s house in order to kill him – but I still see the heart of David and how he cried out to God. I read the song of a man after God’s own heart.

Psalms 59-4.jpg

In the midst of people trying to kill him, David cries out to God.  He tells God about his fears. He asks God to rescue him. He begs for protection. He told God his situation. The good, the bad and the ugly. This wasn’t some nice prayer or pretty worship song. This was David pouring out his fears, anger, hurts to God. This was a son coming to his Father and begging him for mercy. This was a man who trusted God, but was hurting. This was a tortured man begging for a break from the pain.

Psalms 59-3.jpg

God included this Psalm in the Bible. And many others like it. I assume if God wanted these many Psalms in the Bible – and said that David was a man after His own heart – that God wants us to call out to Him, just like David did.

Psalms 59-9.jpg

God wants to know our whole heart. Not just the nice stuff. Not just the just the praises and thank-yous and lists of requests. He wants us to tell Him our fears and anger and hurts. He wants all of us. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Psalms 59-17.jpg

National Day of Prayer

In America, today we celebrate the National Day of Prayer.  This annual observance is held on the first Thursday of May.  Since 1952, it has been designated as a day when people are asked to pray and meditate.

I’ll be honest with you.  Sometimes I struggle with my prayer life.  It is much easier for me to read and study the Bible.  Sitting quietly and praying is more difficult.  Meditating is even harder.  Honestly, it is easier for me to fast.

Here are some techniques I have found helpful:

  • Every day I pray for my husband and children.  For my husband, I use the book “The Power of a Praying Wife”.  See this blog post for more.  For my kids I have daily things I pray for – their friends, their faith, their schooling, their future husbands, their choices, etc.

 

  • I keep a journal with list of what to pray for based on the day of the week.
    • Monday – My husband’s family
    • Tuesday – My church (the staff, elders, ministry partners, any prayer requests I’m aware of from the church body)
    • Wednesday – My family
    • Thursday – I ask God to show me things I need to forgive or ask for forgiveness for. I also pray for my “enemies” (this ranges from people who have hurt me to terrorists)
    • Friday – God’s direction and for wisdom
    • Saturday – Elected officials
    • Sunday – My ministry to others and for God to fill me with love

 

  • Pray through the news headlines:  Take the newspaper or news headlines and pray for the top issues facing the world.  For example, looking through today’s news here are prayer ideas:
    • Prayer for elected officials to have wisdom while making decisions on America’s healthcare.  Prayers for our elected officials to seek God’s will.
    • Prayer for peace in Venezuela
    • Prayer for Syrian refugees and peace in Syria.  Prayer for Christians in Syria.

 

  • Praise: Make a list of all your blessing and everything has God has done in your life.  Go through the list one by one and thank God for what he has done and praise him.

1 Sam 12-24.jpg

 

Lessons from the Olive Tree

Did you know there are olive trees alive today that are estimated to be between 2,000 – 4,000 years old?  There are trees at the Mount of Olives who some believe may have been there when Jesus prayed in the garden.  Pretty incredible.  Makes we want to plan a trip to visit the Holy Land!

I’ve never given olives or olive trees much thought (expect when contemplating going on a Mediterranean diet which sounds completely wonderful . . . except that anything with the word “diet” tends not get past mental contemplation for me).  But as I was doing my morning Bible reading I read a verse that stuck out to me:

But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.  Psalm 52:8 NIV

I love this image that David created in this Psalm.  “An olive tree flourishing in the house of God.”  I can just picture it – a beautiful tree in God’s garden.  So I dug a little deeper into this verse as well as other verses about olive trees and branches in both the Old Testament New Testament, as well as from a historical perspective.  The Bible is full of references to olives and olive trees:

  • The olive was a major agriculture product in Israel.  In addition to food, the oil was used for cooking, lighting lamps, sacrifice and anointing.
  • When Noah was on the ark, looking for dry land, he sent out a dove.  The dove returned with an olive leaf in his beak which was a sign to Noah that the flood was receding.  It symbolized that God was done with his judgement and the world was coming back to life.
  • When two battling enemies were ready to make peace they would extend an olive branch between them to show they were done fighting.
  • In Romans 11:17-21, Paul referred to Gentiles as wild olive shoots, being grafted into Israel.  He said:

    “If some of the branches have been broken off, and you, though a wild olive shoot, have been grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing sap from the olive root, do not consider yourself to be superior to those other branches. If you do, consider this: You do not support the root, but the root supports you. You will say then, “Branches were broken off so that I could be grafted in.” Granted. But they were broken off because of unbelief, and you stand by faith. Do not be arrogant, but tremble. For if God did not spare the natural branches, he will not spare you either.”  

  • Not necessarily an olive tree, but I love this picture that Jesus creates in John 15:

    “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.  I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”

There are so many more verses that reference olives, trees, and branches . . . and so many lessons to be learned.

How to Be a Flourishing Olive Tree

  1.  Be Planted in Good Soil:  Jesus told a parable of a man scattering seeds that landed on different types of ground – a path, rocks, thorns and in good soil. I can relate to each of these  – sometimes I think I’ve been each of them in the span of a week! What does it mean to be good soil? Jesus explains in Mark 4:20: “Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what was sown.”  Read the Bible, believe it, and apply what it says.
  2. Stay in the Vine: How do we bear fruit?  Jesus says it is by staying in the “vine”. Spending time reading the Bible.  Praying.  Meditating.  Fasting.  I even love meditating on John 15 and picturing myself as branch attached to Jesus.  If I am spending time with Jesus and applying what I learn from him I will naturally bear fruit.
  3. Let your Light Shine: The fruit of an olive tree is an olive.  When crushed, olives produce olive oil.  Olive oil had many uses in the Bible, including lighting a lamp. In Matthew 5, Jesus said:  “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
  4. Accept Pruning:  God is my gardener.  And sometimes I need pruned.  I need to get rid of bad influences and bad habits.  I need to cut sin out of my life.  I need disciplined.  And I need to understand that God does it because he loves me and it will help me mature as a Christian.

Let’s follow David’s lead.  Let’s become Olive Trees.  Flourishing.  Trusting God.  And going deep into the vine of Jesus.

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Putting God First

A Life Focused on What Matters Most.

God had offered the Israelites blessing upon blessing if they just followed him.  And they would . . . for a short while.  And then they would reject him.  He wanted to be their King and take care of them, but they kept walking away from him.

I can relate to this.

I could give you a million examples from my teens and early 20s, but even now in my 40s (when I am reading my Bible every day and should be more mature) I reject God regularly.  I put idols above him.  I disobey him.

God’s number one command is to love him with all my heart.  And second to love others.  If you were a fly on the wall in my house some days, observing how I spend my time, you’d think my greatest loves were Facebook, being exasperated with my kids, Word Cookies, and my career and budget.

God had offered the Israel – his chosen people – a life of peace and blessings.  But they chose something else.  They wanted another king.  A human king.  They wanted to fit in with other nations who had “real” kings.  They came to the prophet Samuel and asked him to find them a king.  Samuel was personally offended, but when he came to God, God said:

“Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king.”  1 Samuel 8:7 NIV

Wow.

How many times have I done the same thing?  Put someone or something on a pedestal.  How often have I made it my main focus, instead of Jesus?

But the wonderful thing is, even though Israel strayed from God over and over, when they repented and turned back, God was right there waiting.  Still loving them.  Still protecting them.  Showing mercy and grace.

And he does the same thing for me and for you.

Prayer:  Dear God, Please show me areas of my life where I have put people or things above you. And help me to always put you first.

1 Sam 8-7.jpg

 

6 Lessons on Repentance from King David

David was a man after God’s own heart.  He was chosen by God to be the king of Israel.  From his family tree came Jesus.  But David wasn’t perfect.  Far from it.

King David was a murder.  King David was an adulterer.

In today’s reading (if you want to join me in reading through the Bible comment below and I’ll be in touch!  Here is the plan I’m using this year.  It is never too late to start!), the plan including Psalm 51, which King David wrote after he was confronted by a prophet, Nathan, about his adultery.

Psalm 51-1.jpg

I think there is a lot to learn in this chapter, by David’s example, about what to do when confronted with sin:

  1. David admitted his sin.
  2. His heart was broken because of his sin.
  3. David asked God for mercy.
  4. He asked God to cleanse him from his sin.  
  5. David asked God to create in him a pure heart and to renew a steadfast spirit.
  6. He praised God.

Psalm 51-10.jpg

We have all sinned – whether its lying or cheating or gossiping.  King David’s sin was huge – murder and adultery.  But when confronted with his sin he admitted what he had done and his heart was broken.  His heart wasn’t broken because he had been caught.  His heart was broken because he had hurt God.   He asked for forgiveness.  He turned away from the sin.

God forgave him.

And God turned evil into good . . . as from David and Bathsheba’s family line came a baby  named Jesus who would save the world.

Psalm 51-17 NIV.jpg

 

Praying for my Husband

Several years ago I purchased The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian at the Goodwill and it was one of the best purchases I’ve made.  I love this book.  It helps me direct my prayers for my husband and each prayer is so personal and powerful.

I especially loved today’s prayer that started more for me than my husband:

“God, I proclaim You Lord over my life.  Help me to seek You first every day and set my priorities in perfect order.  Reveal to me how to properly put my husband before children, work, family, friends, activities and interests.  Show me what I can do right now to demonstrate to him that he has this position in my heart.  Mend the times I have caused him to doubt that.  Tell me now to prioritize everything so that whatever steals life away, or has no lasting purpose, will not occupy my time.”

This is my prayer for today – and hopefully every day.  I want to prioritize everything in the order it should go and keep my time and energy focused on what matters most.

P.S. One slightly embarrassing, though related, side-note:  when I was a kid we had Stormie Omartian “Exercise for Life” workout tapes.  Not VHS tapes.  Actual cassette player tapes.  I’d get my leg warmers on and do these tapes every day.  I found a YouTube copy of the cassette.  Just listing to this 80’s Christian techno makes we want to workout!

 

Times of Refreshing

When I started this journey – and shortly after started this blog – my intention was to become like Mary.  To sit at the foot of Jesus and focus my energy and attention on what mattered most.  My walk with Jesus.  My husband.  My kids.  Serving others.  Loving others.

A year and a half ago I told all my clients I was quitting – shutting down that chapter of my life to find a new pace where I could be more balanced.  I felt strongly that God was leading me every step of the way.

But I still need to pay bills.  I still needed income.  The doors of another job opportunity opened and I walked through those doors.  I prayed for God to open the doors and they opened.  I never felt 100% peace in the decision . . . but I felt 90% peace.  And the doors were wide opened.  So I walked in.

It wasn’t a good fit.

So, why did the doors open?  I am not sure.  Maybe God wanted me there for a short season. Maybe it was to teach me once again that my “career” doesn’t define me.  That I need to find my definition in Christ.  Maybe it was to teach me to wait on Him.

Now that I have quit that job I can see even more clearly the importance of being still with God.  Listening for His voice.  And experiencing His refreshing.  And once again to focus on the things that matter most.

Acts 3:19:  Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord (NIV)

Today’s Reading:

  • Joshua 13
  •  Joshua 14
  •  Acts 3:11-26
  •  Psalms 43

Fasting

October 6, 2016 Reading

SCRIPTURE

  • Ezra 7-8
  • Luke 20

He had begun his journey from Babylon on the first day of the first month, and he arrived in Jerusalem on the first day of the fifth month, for the gracious hand of his God was on him. For Ezra had devoted himself to the study and observance of the Law of the Lord, and to teaching its decrees and laws in Israel. Ezra 7:9-10 NIV

There, by the Ahava Canal, I proclaimed a fast, so that we might humble ourselves before our God and ask him for a safe journey for us and our children, with all our possessions.  Ezra 8:21 NIV

So we fasted and petitioned our God about this, and he answered our prayer. Ezra 8:23 NIV

OBSERVATION

  • Ezra had devoted himself to the study and observance of the Law of the Lord and to teaching its decrees . . . and the gracious hand of God was with him.
  • Ezra petitioned God with prayer
  • Ezra called for the Israelites to humble themselves before God
  • Ezra and the Israelites fasted
  • God answered their prayers

ACTION

I am fasting (and praying) today for my oldest daughter’s heart procedure  tomorrow (on October 11)  and the salvation of a loved one.

PRAYER

Lord, please give me the strength and discipline to fast and to bring my prayers throughout the day.  Please listen to my prayers.  Hear my cries for my daughter and loved one.  Please help us to cast our fears on you and give my girl strength.  Please guide the doctors and nurses and may the surgery be successful.

Pray without Ceasing

October 4, 2016 Reading

SCRIPTURE

  • Esther 3-8
  • Luke 18

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.  Luke 18:1 NIV


OBSERVATION

Always pray – Don’t give up

Jesus told a parable of a widow who kept coming to judge asking for justice on an issue.  Over and over she came.  This judge didn’t care about her or her issue, but after enough times of her showing up he got tired of her bothering him.  And he was a little scared of her.  So he relented and did as she asked.

I, on the other hand, have a Judge who loves me.  A judge who sent his son to die for me. I should keep asking.  Keep bringing my concerns to God, even when I don’t seem to be getting an answer.  Even when I don’t get the answer I want.

One of my regular prayers is for the salvation of a loved one, and this is a prayer I’ve been praying for a long time.  There are times I feel like giving up.

But maybe in this parable it isn’t just about getting my request heard and answered.  Maybe it is also about my faith.  And the more time I spend talking to God, the stronger my faith and walk will become.  And my ability to witness to this person will become stronger as they see me living my faith.

ACTION

Prayer.

I keep a prayer journal.  Kind of.  Some days I’m really on, some days I’m off.  Basically I have three people I pray for every day:

Then my goal is to rotate through praying for other people, organizations, causes, etc.

This parable is a reminder to not give up, even when I feel frustrated or like my prayer is futile.

PRAYER

Jesus, thank you for this reminder to always pray and to never give up.  Please give me discipline and consistency in my prayer life.  Help me to pray without ceasing.  Thank you that we are able to lift our petitions directly to you and that you listen.

Forgiving

SCRIPTURE

  • Zechariah 1-3
  • Luke 11

He said to them, “When you pray, say: ‘Father hallowed be your name, your kingdom come.  Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.   And lead us not into temptation.’ ”
Luke 11:2, 4 NIV
http://bible.com/111/luk.11.2-4.NIV

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Luke 11 NIV
http://bible.com/111/luk.11.9-10.NIV

Therefore, tell the people: This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘Return to me,’ declares the Lord Almighty, ‘and I will return to you,’ says the Lord Almighty.
Zechariah 1:3 NIV
http://bible.com/111/zec.1.3.NIV

But now as for what is inside you—be generous to the poor, and everything will be clean for you.
Luke 11:41 NIV
http://bible.com/111/luk.11.41.NIV

If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
Luke 11:13 NIV
http://bible.com/111/luk.11.13.NIV

“Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone.
Luke 11:42 NIV
http://bible.com/111/luk.11.42.NIV

OBSERVATION

So many beautiful instruction and promise instruction, as well as glimpses into the character of God and Jesus.  And conviction.

Right now I am struggling with forgiveness.  Someone I love deeply hurt me recently.  Lied to me and once again broke a fragile trust I thought we were working to rebuild.   I am hurt and angry.  And I’m using this family members’ sin as an excuse to sin.  I am looking at their sin and focusing on what they did wrong . . . and using that to justify my sinning.

  • I am holding a grudge and not forgiving them
  • I have been gossiping about this person and putting them down
  • I have been unkind

And honestly I have been struggling recently in my time with Jesus because of this.  I know Jesus wants me to forgive this person and reconcile and love them.  But I’m not.  Because I want to punish him.  I want to hurt him like he hurt me.

I am focusing on my family member’s sin, when what I should be doing is crying out to God, “Father hallowed be your name, your kingdom come.  Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.   And lead us not into temptation.”

And if I am truly asking for forgiveness and seeking to forgive, there is another beautiful promise in Luke – God will answer my prayer.

Side note: Forgiveness is hard, and involves much more than just saying “I forgive you”.  It also doesn’t mean that you don’t have boundaries or let someone abuse you.  For help in this area, I recommend Fresh Start: http://freshstartforallnations.org.  They are based in Omaha, Nebraska, but have resources online to help through the process of forgiving.

APPLICATION

Today I will focus on praying the Lord’s prayer and meditating on the words of the prayer.

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, you are so mighty and powerful.  You commanded the sea to part and shut the mouths of lions.  And still you know ME.  And love ME.  Just like your will is done in nature and in heaven, I pray that your will will be done in my life.  Help me to obey you.  Thank you for giving me the Bible and all its truth.  And I pray I take the time, every day, to read it and be filled with your daily instruction and the bread of life.  Lord, I’ve been sinning.  I’ve been holding a grudge and punishing “_________”.  I’ve put him down to others.  I’ve had a bad attitude.  Lord, I’m sorry.  Please change my heart.  Please forgive me and help me to forgive him.  Please keep me from the temptation to keep unforgiveness and anger in my heart.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.