Motherhood: A Tough Job Part #1

A Call for Advice from Experienced Moms

I love my kids, but there are days when being a mom is a punch in the gut. Parenting shows me how little I know. How can I set a good example when I struggle with the very things I need to teach my kids?

Other moms, do you feel the same way? Especially for those who now have grown kids . . . any words of wisdom to share? Any secrets of success? This is a call for advice from moms who have successfully navigated the tween and teen years.  Any moms of grown children want to chime in?

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Here is what I am struggling with right now.  And I know there will be many more decisions and dilemmas as my kids get older.

The Infamous Cell Phone Dilemma 

  • 6th grader wanted a cell phone.  She begged for one for about a year.  Cried many tears.  She wasn’t “cool” and was the only kid in her class without a phone.  She made lots of promises, including doing chores to help pay for it.
  • I read all the arguments for and against, but my husband and I ended up getting her a cell phone and gave her some basic rules on usage.
  • I snoop on her phone.  I know there are probably parents who disagree, but I paid for the phone and she is my kid in my house and I need to know what she is viewing and doing on the phone.
  • I added NetNanny . . . not sure if that is the best tool, but I wanted something on the phone to restrict her ability to get on inappropriate sites.
  • Last night I found out she was texting boys.  Ugh!  Nothing inappropriate, but one of the boys told her he wasn’t allowed to text girls and she has continued to text him. Double Ugh!
  • She hasn’t been completely obedient with the rules my husband and I set (she is only supposed to use it for games or texting after she has done her homework and cleaned her room), but we haven’t been consistent with making sure she follows the rules.  We’ve never really grounded her from the phone or taken it away.

So now my husband and I need to come up with a new game plan for the phone usage and rules.

Moms, I’m not looking for specific pros and cons on cell phones (I’ve read a million arguments for and against), but more high-level suggestions. I especially long for suggestions and encouragement from moms who have already raised preteens and teens.

  • What is the best parenting advice you ever received?
  • How did you guide your preteens and teens through relationships with the opposite sex?
  • What is the best parenting advice you can give?
  • Any suggestions on communicating with kids ages 12-18?
  • How did you teach your kids to be wise in choosing friends in middle school and high school?

Moms, we need each other.  For you moms with more experience, your wisdom is much-needed for us moms now entering the preteen years.  It is daunting . . . and any insight you can share would be much appreciated!

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2 thoughts on “Motherhood: A Tough Job Part #1”

  1. I just LOVE your transparency on this oh so challenging journey in motherhood! It is SO HARD, isn’t it? I know… I have a soon to be 14 year old, and yes the phone is a big thing for her too! My son will be entering sixth grade and we are realizing the benefits of him having a phone with him needing to call and check in when he now goes to meet friends at the park etc. We will probably get him one by next year.
    I think you’re dong great, mama. I get it. It’s so hard to follow through on things and stay at it all the time! Definitely having clear and open communication is a MUST. Talking to your girl about texting boys when they say they can’t text with her is something you really probably want to address. And ongoing talks about phone usage and rules etc needs to continue. I am launching an ecourse that you might be really interested in! It focuses on eight Christian principles to teach your kid and how to apply them online, on social media- anywhere. I think it might be perfect for you!
    If you’re interested, message me or just let me know your email, and I will send you updates when it comes out on pre-sale!
    As for any more advice, trust your gut. Patience and grace are a must (ha) and be consistent as you possibly can. I’m trying to do the same! Hang in there mama! YOU got this. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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