Scriptures and Observations:
Growing up I witnessed women being demeaned. Treated like lower class citizens. Acting like doormats. Basically being treated like crap. And mainly being treated that way by men in the church. I saw so-called Christian men demanding “respect” from their wives as part of marital duty, but these same men seemed to ignore Jesus’s command for them to love their wives.
I never saw a true demonstration of love/respect in marriage the way it was meant to be.
And from those early experiences I decided never to submit to a husband. And only respect a man if he really earned it.
Fast forward thirty years. I’m in my second marriage and “respecting my husband” is still a very difficult command and concept for me.
But I know it is something that God wants me to do.
Today’s reading (and if you are reading along in the Life Journal Reading Plan, yes, I am behind):
Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Romans 13:1 NIV
Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. Romans 13:7 NIV
And not from today’s reading, but a passage that convicts me over and over:
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her Lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. 1 Peter 3:1-6 NIV
Most days I feel so far from this image of the woman with “unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit”. I’m much more apt to nag, complain and criticize than to be full of reverence.
So, how do I become a respectful wife? Is if fear (1 Peter 3:6) that is holding me back? Or a lack of knowledge on how to do it (because honestly, I haven’t seen it modeled much in my life)? Or lack of discipline? Or selfishness?
If you have any ideas on how to show your husband respect, please comment!
Doing some research on the topic here are a few articles I found:
- Respect Your Husband Even if You Don’t Think He Deserves It
- Book: What a Husband Needs from from His Wife by
- Choose Respect (with a great print-out!)
- 27 Ways to Show Your Husband Respect
- Send at least one loving/encouraging text to my husband a day
- Thank him at least once a day
- Schedule date nights . . . and keep them nagging free
Jesus, please help me to respect my husband and be full of unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. Help me not to nag, complain, criticize or disrespect him, but to be full of love, honor and respect.